This is such a controversial topic that I’ve been putting off writing about it for a while. Don’t you just love how every one is so PRO breastfeeding. … aslong as you don’t feed where it makes anyone uncomfortable. Then if you do use a bottel you’re judged for the amount of sugar you’re forcing down your baby’s open little maw. All men have seen some form of tit, whether it’s their wive’s, creepy cousin’s, or candy at the strip joint…. or candi with an I that falls in all three descriptions. 

The reality of it is that men were built to be practical, not beautiful. You never hear woman comparing the classic man nippels with the over popular fat man nippels. It’s not that we don’t have opinions on nippels but honestly the male body is not that interesting. We females on the other hand are works of art. Every curve was well planned either for seduction,  femininity, or practical use. Boobs are option C – all of the above. 

I’m a proud breastfeeding mommy, and I hate  sitting anywhere other than my own home to breastfeed.  Reality check: if you walk passed some one in a mall that’s feeding her baby and your uncomfortable. ……… shut the fuck up and carry on with your fucking business …. that mommy had to pull out her tit in public to feed her baby. Instinctively we hide our boobs. We were raised to respect our bodies. Plus those tits used to be a lot less viny and without so many stretchmarks. If any one is feeling uncomfortable in this situation it’s the mommy! No body is judging the fat chick eating her large burger and chips in a restaurant but God forbid your baby needs to eat. 

I was always under the impression that there are only two groups of people when it comes to breastfeeding 

1) complete tree huggers happy to assist you while breastfeeding 

2) the dark side 
… you can guess in which side I plant myself. 
Recently though,  I’ve descovered an extra group. 

3) “draadsitters” – feeding your baby is fine, but there’s an age limit of 6 months to it.

I have many friends that fall in category 3. Sweetie you’re either with me or against me. 

So the trick on surviving the breatfeeding debate is simple. 

Step 1: stop giving a flying fuck about the breastfeeding debate.

Step 2: make your peace with the fact that we’re surrounded by a bunch of assholes that feels they know what’s best for your baby 

Step 3: if people look at you funny as they walk by you, greet them with a smile and a “first peak is free sugar, the next one will cost you”

Step 4: if people ask you how long your still going to breastfeed tell them until his beard’s stubble starts scratching your boobs.

Step 5: It’s your kid. You do whatever comes naturally and fuck the world. (Have this printed on a shirt and wear it while breastfeeding)

People, don’t be assholes. Raising kids is a hard enough job without the constant stream

 of criticism. Breastfeeding is already a massive task of self sacrifice, sleepless nights and sore boobs. Cut us some slack. 

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