The “what have you done today” conundrum

When I started planning my career, babies were not factored into the equation. See, I never wanted the white picket fence, the golden retriever, the ladies day book club committee, the bake sales, the home cooked meals, the curlers, the aprons, the stick up my ass that caused all 1950s moms to smile all the time. I wanted the world! I wanted to see every part of it, taste all it’s flavours, smell it’s authentic aroma. 

Today I’m an over qualified, under appreciated SAHM. (Stay at home mom). It’s not just the general household that sees all the things I do as a given, purely because they grace me with their dirty underwear and dirtier mouths.. it’s society as a whole. 

If I’m late, and let’s be completely honest for a second here… I’m always late.. it’s not because I’m a lazy housewife that slept in while my kids destroyed my house, it’s not because I stayed up late finishing wine after wine (although I’d like to), it’s not because I was doing yoga or cross fit or flirting with men at the gym.. So sure, I was planning on being there at 9:30 and only got there at 13:48…. But I am dressed, my kids have eaten (for now) and I’m only half way covered in baby through-up. In fact if you ever see a mom, fully dressed with matching shoes, make up done and her hair in anything other than a messy bun…. please stop and make an effort to tell her she looks gorgeous. Even if it’s a lie, that look took over three hours to complete, give a girl some hard earned credit! Truthfully, if you see me dropping off kids at school and I’m wearing a hoody and it’s 28°C outside…. know that I probably still have PJ’s hiding underneath it. 

So what is it that a SAHM does on a daily basis… I wish I could tell you. Most days it feels like I’m only half way awake but then I look at the watch (aka, the instrument of constant “you’re late” stress) and the whole day has come and gone. 

I do plan on seeing the empty bottom of our laundry basket by the time my kids are 30, but that did not happen today. I do plan on sitting to pee without my ass becoming a pee-soaking sponge… But that was not today. I do plan on having no dishes and enough clean cups for all of us to enjoy a cup of tea without having to use throw away cups in the morning … But today was not that day.

Society, you may have had to convince a prospective client to choose your firm or buy your product.. but It’s really hard to try and convince your ten year old that his feet will fit in his four year old brother’s socks.

You may have brokered a deal between a couple getting divorced, I mediated a war between 3 separate and completely different countries without too much loss of blood. 

You may have battled the traffic in your air-con blasting car, I battled sleep deprivation (and not all of it was my own), pimples (of which mostly all of it was my own), insanity level noise and at least 10 different kinds of tantrums.

I respect the hell out of every mom that has to do all the mommy things and mommy all the things at work. (See what I did there) 

It wasn’t in my forecast to play house with my boys, or homeschool.. But I took one for the team, because that’s parenting. That’s what parenting requires of you, complete and utter self sacrifice. 

You’d expect CEO’s and Managing directors to applaud you when you’ve served your time and want or need to get back into the workforce. Instead some yuppie recruitment agent in her mid-teens asks you “so like, what have you done these past years, like what can I put in your resume?”….. 

Somewhere along the way society has forgotten that mothers raise the future leaders, entrepreneurs, inventors, scholars and politicians. We qualify for every position you can think of. We’re used to coping under pressure, focussing on the task at hand, time management, various liaising, budgeting, project managing, creative thinking, negotiating, reassuring and teaching. People should be lining up outside our doors to offer us jobs, not the other way round. 

That’s the whole point of society, they belittle the most hectic job in the world to a point were we SAHM’s are ashamed to say what we do for a living. So, what have I done today?

Well your eating relatively cooked food, I smell pretty clean, you still have three kids to come home to, you get to wear underwear tomorrow (which makes one of us), the house still has most of its walls and windows and there was just over 20 tears less than yesterday. 

Looking at the artwork on my class schedule (which I so diligently wrote up for the next two weeks), I was raising the next Picasso today. 

I chose to be a stay at home mom, it wasn’t forced on me. I just hope that the generation we are grooming will view the future mothers for what they truly are. Really fucking badass bitches that deserve respect.